Navigating My 20s While Caregiving

September 5, 2025

Becoming a caregiver in Eyana’s 20s was never part of the plan, but her mother’s diagnosis with frontotemporal dementia changed everything. The journey has taught her strength, acceptance, and the power of showing up even when life looks nothing like she imagined. Eyana continues to share her story on her Instagram @parenttomyparent and YouTube channel.

Your 20s are for finding yourself. Traveling. Finding love. Living your best life. That reality completely changed for me when my mom was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia (FTD). 

I had recently turned 26. I had no idea how to be a caregiver. My mom was the one who took care of everything for the family. It felt like we lost everything. I’m the eldest; I have a younger sister and brother, and when my mom got sick, I had to become a parent to her, and to my younger siblings. 

My mom started showing signs at 46 years old. The first was her getting lost. The very first time it happened, my aunt had come into town, and my mom went to pick her up from JFK Airport, which was 10 minutes from our house. Time went by, and she ended up an hour away — with no recollection on how she got there. 

Around that time, she had lost her job, and had decided to sell our house in New York to move down to Georgia for a fresh start. They moved down there with my two younger siblings, but I was about to graduate college, so I stayed back to finish. I also wasn’t ready to leave the city life and my friends. New York was home. When my family moved, I heard from my mom less and less. I found that unusual. We were so close, and it honestly felt like she didn’t love me anymore. When we would talk, she wouldn’t make sense when talking about certain things. We would also fight. I didn’t pay much attention to it; I had thought it was just her getting older.

In 2019, I also moved to Georgia, so that I could be closer to my family and help get the proper help for my mom. She had started experiencing severe symptoms: depression, getting lost frequently, overspending. It really had our family concerned. When we took her to the doctor, I felt like they weren’t helping. They would just brush it off, saying that she was depressed, and prescribed more medication. But I knew it was deeper than that. I had to really put my foot down and be that advocate for her. 

We finally got an MRI done, and she was diagnosed with FTD, which primarily affects a person’s behavior and language. I thought all dementias were the same. Boy, was I wrong. I would be up all night reading about what FTD is, hoping we could cure it. I had no clue what I was doing, and I really had to take charge over everything, from the finances, doctor’s appointments, even down to what she should wear daily — while still figuring out what I want to do in my life. 

I was very angry and didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t understand how this could happen to her, and how this could happen to my family, at such a young age. I would constantly look back on how I could have addressed it when we first started seeing the signs, instead of ignoring it.    

Covid hit, and my mom declined. I also fell into a slight depression. It was hard seeing my mom at times, the world wasn’t normal anymore, and I was in a new city away from the place I lived my whole life. I felt alone, and it was a huge adjustment. But I’m proud of myself for coming out of that dark place. The biggest thing I had to change was thinking that I didn’t have to do this alone and it’s okay to ask for help. My siblings and I made sure we had our mom taken care of, and I’m grateful that I have them, because we’re really a team when it comes to taking care of her. 

In 2023, feeling burnt out, we decided to put my mom in a personal care home. I felt so guilty doing that. I heard so many horrible stories about personal care homes, and I didn’t want that to be my reality. So I really had to change my mindset and understand I was doing this so I can really enjoy my life. 

A year passed. I would make sure to spend time with her every weekend. During that time, I also started to really get to know myself again: I truly wanted to know what makes me happy, and what I truly enjoyed. Therapy has been a great thing, too. I was very hesitant, but talking about my emotions and understanding them helped me feel grounded. 

Earlier this year, we started seeing a decline with my mom, and she ended up in the hospital. Afterwards, as a family, we decided to bring her back home. I knew in my heart I couldn’t keep her in that place anymore — I felt like I may not have much time with her, and I want to enjoy every moment I can be around her. Being a caregiver at a young age has really taught me to just focus on my journey. I spent years comparing my life to people who didn’t have to take on this role, and feeling envious that I couldn’t do certain things. 

But today, I’m so grateful for my journey. Because without it, I wouldn’t be this strong person that I am today. I no longer wish things were different. I just accept what life throws at me.