Finding Your Way After an Alzheimer’s Diagnosis: Coping Strategies

A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease can be a shock, prompting a range of reactions. Accepting the news for some can be a process that takes time. 

Dr. Richard Dupee, chief of geriatric service at Tufts Medical Center and associate professor at Tufts University School of Medicine, has seen how some have trouble coming to terms with their new reality. He shared a story of a patient who refused to accept his Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

“When I pointed out he had memory problems, he said ‘No, it’s part of getting older,’” Dupee said. “When I mentioned the car accidents, he said, ‘It was the other guy’s fault.’  When I told him his family was worried about his being alone and that he needed to get help, he said, ‘We’re done,’ and he left.” 

Though surrounded by a loving family, this man withdrew from his friends, putting the burden of care all on his wife, and he became depressed and isolated, Dupee said. Feelings of helplessness are not uncommon for patients and families confronting an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, he said, but there are strategies that can help. 

Lessons from the newly diagnosed 

Researchers involved in a 2025 Canadian study examining the coping strategies of 10 people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s found that those who could adapt to their condition “gained access to a form of resilience and hope that allowed them to regain control over their lives.” 

For many in the study, preserving some independence was a common theme. “For several participants,” the study reported, “it was essential to maintain their autonomy and abilities to manage their daily lives while remaining open and willing to seek or accept help from others for certain tasks that were more difficult or inaccessible.” 

One participant with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis put it this way: “I try to handle my stuff on my own because I’m that kind of person,” she said, “but if I need help, there are people; they’re happy to give me a hand. What more could you want?”

“When we hear that diagnosis, it can be very shocking and our first reaction is, ‘This is it, this is the end,’” Donna Benton, associate professor of gerontology and director of University of Southern California’s Family Caregiver Resource Center, who was not involved in the Canadian study, told Being Patient. “But there is a lot you can do at the early stages of Alzheimer’s.” 

Benton said she advises the newly diagnosed to set their life up for the way they want it to continue, and to let family know of their wishes for later on. “You can decide how you want to maintain your quality of life,” she said.

Adopting positive coping strategies

Dupee related another story of a different patient who was quicker to adapt to his Alzheimer’s diagnosis and fared better. “He admitted that he was asking the same questions over and over and had gotten lost driving,” Dupee said. “He is a good example of someone who understood the diagnosis, doesn’t like it, is frustrated with it, but wants to proceed with treatment.” 

This patient has begun treatments to potentially slow down the disease progression, remains upbeat and checks in with his doctor regularly.

Family members can help by connecting a patient with a local Alzheimer’s association for support, Dupee said. Patients can also be encouraged to not to give up intellectual pursuits. “Read the newspaper, watch the news,” he said, “and have conversations with family members about it.”

Part of accepting the diagnosis means learning to avoid frustration. “Be very gentle with yourself,” Benton said. “Allow yourself more time to do things. If you get anxious about your memory, say if you’ve lost a word, take a deep breath and say, ‘It’s OK, it will come.’’

Stay active while acknowledging diagnosis

Remembering past experiences can also help Alzheimer’s patients maintain a sense of identity and continuity, according to researchers of the Canadian study. This is true of Jamie Anderson, 74, who, when first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, didn’t spend time in denial. “That’s not the point,” he told Being Patient. “It’s like, how do you manage it?” His father had had the disease as well as two of his brothers. 

An outgoing man with a wide social circle of friends, Anderson moved into an assisted care facility. He enjoys memories of his singing and piano playing, welcomes regular visits from friends and family, and interacts with others in the assisted living community. Despite the everyday challenges caused by the disease, Anderson said he has many good memories. “I had a really good life,” he said.

Sometimes the journey to acceptance takes a circuitous route. Avid cyclist Peter Berry became depressed after receiving his Alzheimer’s diagnosis — then he pivoted. He decided to help himself and others who were going through the same experience. 

“At my darkest time, that was one of the things that I really wanted to strive for,” Berry said. “I had it in my head that if I helped a handful of people, then that would be a good thing. That would give me a sense of purpose, a sense of worth. It wasn’t just something that I needed — I had to have it in order to live.”

With the right encouragement, support and positive coping strategies, Berry said he found it was possible to move through the initial fear and anger and find acceptance and hope for a meaningful life.

Nicole Gregory is a health writer who has contributed to many national publications and websites such as Forbes Health, UCLA Health, the Orange County Register among others.