Holiday Gatherings Guide: 7 Dementia-Inclusive Activities

The holidays are a time for gathering with loved ones, sharing gratitude, and, of course, gathering around the table for a delicious meal together. For caregivers and care partners looking after someone with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, it can be a bit challenging to balance the holiday preparations while ensuring that your loved one with dementia feels included and engaged. We’ve talked to caregiving consultants and pulled together a few simple, expert-vetted ideas to help make this Christmas season (for those who celebrate) a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Festive activity ideas for a dementia-inclusive holiday season

1. ‘Memory lane’ conversations

A family get-together — if you can find a quite moment — is a great time to reminisce about old memories. Engage your loved one in conversations about past holiday celebrations or other cherished moments from their life.

“As we age, memories of long past events become more important especially with each passing decade of late midlife and old age,” Eric B. Larson, a senior investigator at Kaiser Permanente Washington Health Research Institute, wrote for Being Patient about the therapeutic benefits of reminiscing through storytelling. “Studies show that when centenarians are asked to reminisce on past events — especially to cite their enjoyable or most meaningful events — the trove of events they recall involving their first 20 years of life vastly exceeds the previous 20 years. It’s as if our minds lay down vast amounts of earlier-in-life events that get embedded deeper and stronger into our brains’ circuitry.”

>>> Learn more about why reminiscing about the past — over old family photos, music and other prompts — can be so therapeutic for those with dementia — at home or residents in long-term care — and for their loved ones.

How Reminiscence Therapy Can Help People With Dementia Remember The Past

2. Sensory experiences

There’s some interesting brain science behind how dementia gradually changes the way a person experiences visuals and textures. That said, people with dementia often respond well to sensory stimulation. Consider taking the trappings of holiday decorating or meal prep and coming up with a creative activity to engage a person’s senses of touch or smell.

For example, assisting with the safe aspects of carving a pumpkin, or making a classic apple pie, aren’t just fun, but also sensorily engaging. Help a loved one stir pie filling or roll out pie dough while taking in the nostalgic aroma of cinnamon and baked apples.

One’s sense of smell is another way to tap into new experiences — and old memories. For example, one 2019 study looked at odor exposure on the retrieval of recent and remote memories in Alzheimer’s and found that study participants with Alzheimer’s who were exposed to certain odors were better able to retrieve memories than participants with Alzheimer’s who weren’t exposed to any odors. If you’re looking for sensory activities, learn a bit more here about how “scent therapists” are leveraging our sense of smell to help engage and delight someone living with dementia.

3. Modified recipes

In an essay, writer Enomwoyi Damali describes cooking with her mother — even as her mother’s dementia progressed to a point where it became challenging for her mother to follow instructions: “The easiest solution would be to do the salad myself,” Damali wrote. “But Mom loves to help with the cooking. And I believe it’s good for her to be involved, doing something she can manage and enjoy.”

It’s true, cooking together can be a great bonding activity and a way to become engaged in the present moment, no matter one’s age or cognitive health status. Try some easy and safe dinner recipes that allow your loved one to participate without feeling overwhelmed.

• **Mashed Potatoes:** Peel and cut the potatoes in advance, and let your loved one mash them. It’s a simple task that can be very satisfying.
• **Cranberry Sauce:** Pre-measure the ingredients and let your loved one stir the sauce as it cooks. The bright red color and sweet-tart aroma can be quite enticing.

4. Music and dancing

Playing some of your loved one’s favorite tunes and encouraging them to dance or simply tap their feet can be an uplifting and engaging activity.

Music brings a group together across differing circumstances, and dementia is no exception. Music can bring temporary levity and engagement to someone with Alzheimer’s disease, but it also has long-term effects. A 2018 study looked at people attending a community adult health center and found that 20 minutes of music could boost mood and cognitive function.

Music therapists assist caretakers integrate music into their practices. Concetta Tomaino, a music therapist and the co-founder of the Institute for Music and Neurological Function, told Being Patient in a live talk, “Maybe sing some of the songs. If you like to dance, put on some music. Being mobile actually helps with balance and coordination,” she said. “If there’s an upbeat song that you can play to do some exercise and movement, that’s really great.”

And while the music’s playing — consider hopping up to dance. Studies show that various kinds of physical activity can benefit someone with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. While there’s limited research on what dance can do for brain health, leaders in “creative aging,” like Magda Kaczmarska, swear by the therapeutic power of dance and embodied movement for someone living with dementia (who have the physical ability to take a safe spin around the room).

>>> Here are three ways to bring home the dementia therapy of music.

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5. Setting the table

Include your loved one in the process of setting the dinner table. It’s a simple yet meaningful task that can provide a sense of accomplishment.

Shannon Halloway, an associate professor at Rush University, said engaging older adults living with dementia in things like setting up the table for dinner and other safe, simple chores and tasks is good for all involved: “Household activities are a great option for older adults, particularly those who may have concerns about going outside their home,” Halloway said. “It’s free, you have to do these activities anyway, and we know that our home is ideally a safe place to be.”

6. Play easy, fun, social games

Studies show that games can help improve cognition in people with dementia. At Christmas (or the winter holiday your family celebrates), pick a game that is appropriate for your loved one’s abilities and promotes socialization with family members and friends. Try to pick ones with simple rules and instructions that can be followed by everyone to reduce frustration.

Jigsaw puzzles, memory matching games, digital games and sensory games like scent-based activities and fidget toys are all good options.

>> Here are more considerations for choosing a game. 

7. Make time to rest

Family gatherings and holidays can be overwhelming — for anyone. Caregiving experts remind us that it’s especially important to respect space, keep things calm and not too loud, and to remember that asking someone to depart from their normal routine can be stressful.

So, if you’re planning something around a family member or friend living with dementia, 1) don’t get too attached to a rigid plan as needs can always arise or evolve; and 2) remember to keep these activities relaxed and focus on the joy of being together — rather than the outcome.

A few more things to keep in mind when planning a dementia-inclusive gathering:

• Plan ahead: Create a schedule for the day to provide structure and minimize confusion. Inform your loved one about the day’s events in advance.
• Keep the setting simple: Keep the decorations and table settings simple. Complex or unfamiliar surroundings may cause distress.
• Create quiet spaces: Designate a quiet space where your loved one can retreat to if the festivities become overwhelming. Engaging with family members is important, but they may also have a different capacity for social engagement.
• Choose familiar foods: While trying out new recipes is fun, it’s also important to include some familiar dishes that your loved one enjoys.
• Be patient, be flexible: Be prepared for changes and be flexible. If something doesn’t go as planned, it’s okay. What matters most is the quality time spent together.
• Engage the senses: Use soft music, scents, and textures that are familiar and comforting to your loved one. Avoid overwhelming sensory experiences.
• Delegate tasks: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. They can assist with caregiving duties, allowing you to enjoy the holiday too.

Remember that while there’s often overlap, every person with dementia has their own unique experiences and preferences — and what seems fun for one person may not work for another. Pay attention to your loved one’s cues and adjust your plans accordingly. It’s all about creating a warm and inclusive environment where everyone can share in the spirit of gratitude and togetherness.

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